It’s Saturday, it’s half past nine, the Norwich office is a few glasses down and it’s only flipping Strictly. Yes yes yes the spanglefest is back and that means we’ve reinstalled ourselves on the sofa** with the Barbies and the sellotape.
So. Tess in blue. With net and sequins. A fact we should have gleaned from the red-carpet spesh on red button but were too busy trying to re-create the photoshoot frock to have clocked on that tonight’s show was of course a pre-record. Anyway, we started with me and 6-y-o, quietly and carefully sticking blue sequins to midnight blue fabric and sticking net under Tess’s skirt.
Then, 7-y-o, her lovely mate, her mate’s mum and her mate’s brother arrived and we discovered that a) 10-y-o boys aren’t that arsed about Strictly, b) daughter’s mate’s fabulous mum has a hidden talent for fashioning doll accessories from foil (seriously, there’s a craft fair somewhere with her name on it) and c) the kids would prefer to dress as Tess/Claudia than dress dolls as Tess/Claudia.
But while we attempted to contain the chaos in our lounge, over on http://www.facebook.com/dressliketess, things happened.
First, let’s say a big hello to Rachael from Norwich, who has the dubious honour of being our first Tess of the season. Well, what can we say about Rachael? She can run 10k faster than most of us can make a fish-finger-and-oven-chip dinner. That’ll do. Any road, here’s her sparkly Tess.
Meanwhile, here’s a Tess from regular player Sally in north London. You remember Sally; she’s a top barrister by day. Tess-wrangler by night. At lunchtime we suspect she swims with dolphins.
What did the DLikeT offices come up with? Well, as per usual, Herts outperformed Norwich for detail… Here’s the Norwich entry:
We thought we were doing pretty well here: sequins, net AND fabric… but this is marvs:
Oooooh yeah. Hertfordshire, douze points. The Herts office said it was “crepe”. See what they did there.
Meanwhile, Claudia was resplendent in a black-and-silver number. We had a bit of a disaster: it turns out you can’t stick the foil you used to keep teatime sausages warm for the pub-soaked Mr Dress Like Tess and his brother to polyester using a Wilko-own-brand gluestick. So we dressed the 7-y-o as Claude instead. Her mate went on to draw her a “fringe” with B&M “tattoo pens”.
Fortunately, the Tess-ers out there were on hand to rescue the situation. Let’s go to Leicester. (Actually, let’s. The Norwich office was born and raised in the jewel of the East Midlands.) Here’s Rebecca Griffith and Louis from TV’s One Direction. We like. And yer actual Louis… future career?
But we really must raise a glass to regular DLikeT-er Charlotte, formerly of Hatfield and now of *somewhere else*, who came up with this truly ingenious recreation of Ms Winkleperson’s bustier. It’s only the ruddy crossword. Come on. Three across: “Saturday night doll-and-sock nonsense (5,4,4)”. We should really apply for a job setting the Guardian crossword. They could call us “Spangles”. Or “P45.”
Well, congratulations all you Tess-ers. We’ve kicked back now with the theme from Magpie. If only we were joking.
Want to play next week? We think you know you do….
**we’ve got a new sofa this series, as it goes. New second-hand. Yer actual leather. Yeah. Look at us.