de-de-de-de-de/de-de-de-de-de/Tess Express

Ah, good morning Tessworld

It’s Wednesday, the sun is shining in Norwich and it’s time for a midweek Tess-based recap. Woohoo.

So. We’ll be honest. We weren’t home for Saturday’s Strictly. We did, however, wear *a lot* of sequins, so almost brought the Strictly vibe to some of Norwich’s many licensed premises. Good grief, did we really just say “the Strictly vibe”? Take us outside now and make us write lines. It’s only a matter of time before someone lets slip the word “funky”… NO. Just no. You know the type. Someone who clearly thinks “what the hell are you wearing?” but instead of just politely keeping its mouth shut feels the need actually to utter some words and says to you: “Ooh, look at your funky leggings.”

You know that in some parts of north America, “funky” means “a bad smell”, right?

We appear to have digressed somewhat.

It was Saturday, wasn’t it? The DlikeT Herts office *of course* took the wheel and as ever produced some tops Tess-ness. Shall we see?

07 Nov Amanda Tess 07 Nov Amanda Exploria

Round of applause for Amanda and her marvellousness. Exploria seems ever so animated, doesn’t she?

Obviously it was a good night for playing both a Tess and a Claudia. Everyone who DressedalongaTess re-created both presenters. Is it getting too easy or are we all just having a good time?

So… where first? How about Cornwall, where Seren, India and Jasmine once again gave us a fab Tess and Claudia.

07 Nov Cornwall Tess 2 07 Nov Cornwall Tess 1

Meanwhile, in Norwich (well… sort of Norwich… a rather lovely corner of Norfolk, to be exact), Amelie (and possibly also her mum Lisa) gave us a Tess and a Claude. We’re pretty sure we saw a pic somewhere of Amelie’s ENTIRE JUDGING PANEL for one episode of Strictly but we’re kippered if we can find it.

07 Nov Lisa Lisa Tess and Claudia

And finally to south-east London, where Becca finesses her trademark Playmobil, with both a Tess and a Claudia.

07 Nov Becca Claudia 1 07 Nov Becca Tess 1

Moving swiftly on to Sunday, where we actually sat down and watched the results show live, all full of carbs and remorse. As Claudia descended the BBC staircase, both Mr DlikeT and literally one of the children shouted “tin foil”. Indeed so… Claudia was all about the silver reflectiveness. The Herts office — incidentally, this was the FIRST TIME the Herts office had used foil… what *have* they been doing? — thought the dress added a little “post-marathon chic” to proceedings. Mais oui. All Claudia was missing was a banana and a funny walk.

First, let’s see the 6-y-o member of the Norwich team’s Claudia… she’s gone with oil pastels here, and we’re sorry, we can’t return any of your paintings.

08 Nov Norwich draws Claudia

We just went nuts in the foil dept… as did Herts. See if you can guess which Claudia belongs to which office? NB this is about as tricky as one of those ITV “win £30,000” text-ins. “Which one of the following would you NOT put in a sandwich? a) cheese b) ham c) the driveshaft from a 1972 Escort Mexico”

08 Nov Amanda Exploria 08 Nov Norwich Claudia

But we were both well and truly foiled (come on, it was inevitable) by Team Exeter. They gave us what team boss Char describes as “a little bit Halston 70s drapey”. We simply describe it thus: GENIUS.

08 Nov Ellen Claudia

And Tess was in black… blah blah blah. Sequinny bits though. Can’t resist a sequin.

08 Nov Norwich Tess 08 Nov Amanda Tess

Norwich on the left, Herts on the right. As if you couldn’t tell.

Well, we’re half way through Strictly and it’s a week and a half till Blackpool. Frankly, we’re relieved Carol has at last gone home and fear that J Vine may have to perform a J Sergeant resignation press conference if he lasts more than the next fortnight. Have you noticed the judges are not being openly horrible to the Eggheads frontperson? Probably because they know the viewer vote will rocket if they go heavy on the panto villain put-downs…

OK. Get to work. Our desk that looks like the aftermath of a tornado.




ta ta




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